One Day, I'll be A Star!

Here is a song that Katy and I wrote in about half an hour. It needs a lot of work!

Your Associate was run over by an Iron Chariot and the Rotating Blades of Death lifted your associate and with that him being lifted my right ventricle was excised from my soul

[Piano + Guitar Riff]
[When over, Low Trumpet]

The white coats with circled gagdets electrocuted his weary cranium
They said he had a probability of 3 out of 5 or 60% chance of breaking through his emergency situation

[Banjo Riff]
[Harmonica Plays one not]

I waited in the room of excruciating pain
That was exactly what i felt as well
But as life goes on so did the pain

[Cue Harp]

I covered my face
I didn't want to believe
Because they have always said
It will never happen to me

[Piano + Guitar Riff]

Hours pass, Days Pass, Weeks pass, years pass
but in this case- it was only a few minutes
I get up but the only thing that was really getting up was my body

[Classical Dramatic Music Plays]

Sliding doors open and close like the blinking of my eyes
but then I realize....

.....to be continued

I expect ALOT of comments on this one!

Have Fun!

Music Power Rankings: Week of 11/19

This week has brought newcomers into the Top 10 list. Many other songs have dropped out. Enjoy. Last Week ranking in parentheses.

1 (1). Weezer- Say It Ain't So, 26
2 (UR). Weezer- Perfect Situation, 21
3 (UR). Ozma- Eponine, 20
4 (6). Beulah- A Good Man Is Easy To Kill, 18
5 (2). Weezer- We Are All On Drugs, 17
6 (3). Kaiser Chiefs- What Did I Ever Give You?, 16
6 (UR). Ozma- Restart, 16
7 (4). Beulah- Gene Autry, 15
7 (UR). Beulah- Silver Lining, 15
7 (6). Coldplay- Yellow, 15

Dropped Out:
Weezer- Prodigy Lover
Bob Marley- Buffalo Soldier
Dispatch- Open Up
Kaiser Chiefs- I Predict A Riot

Have Fun!

Jersey Collections:

So I was sitting with Henry and I thought about if I was allowed to have a jersey from every NFL team, which players would I choose?

I sat and thought about it and Henry joined my thinking about it and this is what we came up with:(note: includes non-active players and former franchises)

NFL Team	Assaf	Henry
NY Giants	Lawrence Taylor	Amani Toomer
Washington	Sean Taylor	Doug Williams
Dallas	DeMarcus Ware	Roy Williams
Philadelphia	Brian Dawkins	Randall Cunningham
Atlanta	Michael Vick	Keith Brookings
Carolina	Julius Peppers	Mike Minter
Tampa Bay	Vinny Testaverde	John Lynch
New Orleans	Archie Manning	Aaron Brooks
Chicago	Walter Payton	Gale Sayers
Minnesota	Randy Moss	Jim Marshall
Detroit	Barry Sanders	Barry Sanders
Green Bay	Brett Farve	Sterling Sharpe
Seattle	Marcus Trufant	Shaun Alexander
St. Louis	Torry Holt	Deacon Jones
Arizona	Larry Fitzgerald	Larry Fitzgerald
San Francisco	Jerry Rice	Ronnie Lott
New England	Drew Bledsoe	Curtis Martin
Buffalo	Jim Kelly	Thurman Thomas
NY Jets	Joe Klecko	Mo Lewis
Miami	Irvin Fryar	Larry Csonka
Indianapolis	Reggie Wayne	Marvin Harrison
Jacksonville	Natrone Means	Jimmy Smith
Tennesee	Earl Campbell	Randall Godfrey
Houston	Dunta Robinson	Andre Johnson
Cincinnati	Carson Palmer	Anthony Munoz
Pittsburgh	Franco Harris	Jason Gildon
Cleveland	Ernest Bynar	Bernie Kosar
Baltimore	Tony Siragusa	Ed Reed
Denver	Terrell Davis	Terrell Davis
Kansas City	Marcus Allen	Derek Thomas
San Diego	LaDanian Tomlinson	LaDananian Tomlinson
Oakland	Kenny Stabler	Marcus Allen

As always, feel free to comment, criticize, or post your own list.

Music Power Rankings: Week of 11/11 to 11/18

This is a new intiative by me that will help you, my readers, get to know my taste in music.
I will be posting the Top 10 played songs on my iTunes/iPod every week. Feel free to comment on the song list, or if you're up for it; criticize my music taste in general.
The table will go by rank, song name, and times played.

1. Weezer- Say it Ain't So, 19
2. Weezer- We are All on Drugs, 16
3. Kaiser Chiefs- What did I ever Give you?, 15
4. Beulah- Gene Autry, 14
4. Weezer- Prodigy Lover, 14
6. Beulah- A Good Man is Easy to Kill, 13
6. Bob Marley- Buffalo Soldier, 13
6. Coldplay- Yellow, 13
6. Dispatch- Open Up, 13
6. Kaiser Cheifs- I Predict a Riot, 13

So, from now on, visit Elucidation's Apex every saturday morning to check the updated rankings. These rankings might get more elaborate, but we'll see about that.

In other news, I was at the Sixers game and watched them beat the Lakers 85-81. The boos that Kobe Bryant received were amazing. And for some reason, they brough the LM Cheerleading squad to perform before the game started...weird.

A "Funny" Spin on a Sad Season

So, I was sitting in class the other day and our professor assigns us probably one of the dumbest assignments in my schooling career. Meaning, that from Kindergarten through junior year of college, I have not been assigned anything more stupid. Our professor gives us an in-class creative writing assignment. He wants us to write a story about 2 characters. One of these characters had to be death personified, and out to get the other character.

My professor then proclaimed that he will be collecting the papers, however he will not be reading them. I guess he just was gonna count the lines to make sure you put an effort. I decided that I was going to have some fun with this. It was the only way possible.

After about half an hour, some kids volunteer to read what they came up with. Their work was so depressing and really sad. A far contrast from what I wrote...............

I don't have enough money to feed my family, so we're going to have to renegotiate my 120 million dollar contract, said Toaster Oven. This was Oven's latest attempt at trying to get his football team, the Pitiful Eateries, to give up so more money so he will be happy. The local fans were overjoyed last year when Toaster decided to join their beloved Eateries. Toaster Oven was eager to bring his talent and star power and help the Eateries get to the big game.
What the locals didn't know, or didn't want to realize, was that Oven was, in fact, death personified, and a cancer.

Toaster Oven did have a history of ending player's lives prematurely. He most certainly had an affinity for targeting a team's quarterback. This time around, he would target all-star quarterback Dried Meat. Oven saw Meat as the leader of the team, and wanted nothing more to see him go down. Toaster Oven talked poorly about Dried Meat whenever he could. He said Dried Meat was horrible when under pressure, and that other players such as Brilliant Fighter would be leading the Eateries to an undefeated season. Of course, Oven was only agreeing with a statement of Meat Incinerator. Oven continued, he said that the Pitiful Eateries was a class less organization, you see, he was angry because he always liked cooking and expected the Eateries to at least have a cooking class he could take.

The fans expected Oven to apologize but he did not. His death personified cancer had already spread and was at the point of no return. Only a super duper football doctor would be able to excise it. The Eateries luckily had one and he happened to be their coach. He was Dr. Anti Run, and he was here to save the day. He easily completed the excision. Much to the relief of Dried Meat he will not need to deal with any similar ordeal ever ever again, at least until the Pitiful Eateries bring in another seemingly benign savior, like Rustic Mold...

I got a plus on this story, conclusion:

My professor wasn't lying when he said he wouldn't read them!

::::::::::::THE END::::::::::::

The French Henerie

So, as many of you might know, I meet up with a couple of friends to eat at the creperie almost everyday. It is probably the best food around the fuzzy area of North Philadelphia. For 5 bucks you get a crepe and a drink. Now, according to Bill, the guy who runs the place, they put 6 oz. of chicken along with 5 oz. of veggies and the crepe itself is around 2 oz. So that adds up to 13 oz.; 3 oz. shy of 1 pound. So its not a small food item. My good friend, Henry, decided that he was really really hungry, so I put his hunger to the challenge. I say Eat 3 of them back to back. Henry calls my challenge.

So we go, notify the crepe truck about the pending feat. Bill says good luck, and Alex says he will give Henry 5 bucks if he is capable of completing the feat. We get our regular orders, I get a chicken bbq and Henry gets a chicken ranch. We proceed to Annenberg Atrium. We meet up with Charlie and Mary and Katy and others and they look at Henry in disgust. Although, deep down, I think Charlie was truly admiring Henry's bravery.

It takes Henry about 10 minutes to down the first one. Piece of cake. Henry isn't feeling full yet. We go back to the creperie, Bill labels the first one and then proceeds to make Henry a Caliente Chicken. We go back to the atrium. This time around everyone was giving Henry a hard time, so we had to move tables, to let the master concentrate. Henry has a harder time with this one, not because of the fullness feeling, but because the peppers that they put in the crepe were somewhat spicy. Around 30 minutes after eating the first one, Henry finishes the second. Well on his way to the last third on. Bill says, while ordering the third one, if he can finish two of them, he won't have any problem eating this third one. I had to go alone to get the third one, well, because Henry can't move. The third one is a Chicken with Pesto. I told Bill to put in extra food, just because...

Overstuffed crepe? No problem for Henry.

After 56 minutes, Henry sets a new crepe eating record. Henry has now become a campus celebrity and is reminded of his achievement everytime he passes through the crepe truck as he is applauded and extolled by hundreds of admiring fans, waiting

Henry has already been approached with endorsements from dozens of restaurants and eating establishments, however Henry is not looking for any glory or fame. Henry just wanted to prove me wrong. and to quiet any doubters. meaning me. and charlie....and maybe mary and maybe even Bill....but most defintely...me...

::::::::The End:::::::::::

What is wrong with the Eagles?

Ladies and Gentlemen, I don't ask for much. I don't. A decent looking football team is NOT much to ask for.

So why, do we suck so much? Why are suddenly on the outside looking in? No, not the super bowl, but the playoffs.

Andy Reid has really got something wrong with him. As Big Daddy Graham says: "Maybe it is his diet. Maybe instead of seeing plays he is seeing double bacon cheeseburgers?"

Yet, I sit here and ponder, while munching on my Nature Valley Oats 'n Honey bar, what is the real reason for the Eagles horrendous performance?

It all boils down to this: The Eagles do not want to pay Running Back Brian Westbrook, therefore they are deflating his stats. You don't have to be John Clayton or Sal Palantonio to figure this one out. The Eagles are a company, they want profits while minimizing expenses. Westbrook is making a million dollars and change this year, that is insulting for a running back of his magnitude. The Eagles finally realized this and offered him a better deal which apparently is acceptable and will be finalized Friday.

However, one interesting note, I noticed over the past couple of weeks, how similar Andy Reid's playcalling is to my 6 year old brother's playcalling. My brother, Ori, is a huge madden kid. He probably can beat any one of you foolish enough to play against him. He has mastered the McNabb pass to a streaking Owens play. Oddly, enough, his offensive drives are eeriely similar to the actual Eagles in an actual game. Pass, Playaction Pass, Pass again, Punt (or in my brother's case: Bomb down field to Owens.) My brother, too, hates to run the ball. Maybe he should become Andy Reid's protege, and they can play Madden together and discuss McNabb passing plays.

Of course, then, Andy Reid would gain back whatever weight he lost, cause my mom makes unbelievable food.

Just a thought....

Speaking of my mother's awesomely delicious food, Look who is running for President! He has got my vote for sure! His house building quote is very very compelling and empowering! I LOVE IT!



::::::THE END:::::::